Healing From Traumatic Memories

Last Updated on May 11, 2025 by Cindy Benezra

Trauma has a way of weaving itself into our lives—sometimes through gradual, repeated experiences and other times through singular, life-altering moments. It could be a sudden bereavement, the diagnosis of a chronic illness, or the heavy shadow of a toxic relationship. These events often leave their mark as traumatic memories layered with fear, disappointment, and enormous stress.

For many, the weight of these memories grows until it feels impossible to bear. You find yourself caught in a storm of anxiety, holding your breath, hoping for a glimmer of relief. But trauma isn’t something our minds or bodies can easily set aside and forget. It roots itself deeply and can manifest when we least expect it.

The important truth to know? Healing is possible. And while it may feel overwhelming, there are practical and effective tools that can help.

Understanding Trauma and its Forms

Trauma is a deeply human experience. It can take many forms, and each individual’s experience is unique. To understand its impact, it’s helpful to explore the three categories trauma often falls into:

Acute Trauma: Stemming from a single, significant event that leaves a lasting impact.
Chronic Trauma: Developed from prolonged exposure to multiple traumatic events. Its effects may show up years later.
Complex Trauma: Arising from varied traumatic experiences, often involving deep interpersonal conflict or instability.

Trauma can feel isolating, but it’s important to recognize that you are not alone. No matter the source of your pain, there are paths to understanding and healing.

Personal Reflections on Trauma and Healing

Like many, my life has been shaped by multiple traumatic experiences. I vividly remember standing in a hospital room, feeling my world collapse as a surgeon explained my son’s twenty percent chance of making it out of his surgery. My body wanted to scream to the point of bursting with rage. I remember one winter, the biting cold air circled around me while I hugged my children tightly to my body to keep them warm as we waited patiently in line at a food bank. As I looked down to the top of my daughter’s head, my heart dropped to see lice. It was the straw that broke the camel’s back. When I got home, I fell to the ground and cried until the point of exhaustion. I still recall the moment when I learned that my friend was sleeping with my husband. I thought murderous thoughts and, in shame, cried and screamed until I threw up. The heart pain and fear about the future were too much to handle.

Trauma doesn’t always arrive in grand, dramatic events—it often sneaks in through smaller, overwhelming moments that chip away at your mental and emotional resilience. Left unprocessed, these moments become traumatic memories, quietly shaping how we live, react, and cope.

For 45 years, I’ve sought healing through various therapeutic methods. While every effort has played a role in my recovery, I’ve found profound transformation in modalities like EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) and Reiki. These approaches have reshaped my relationship with trauma in ways traditional talk therapy could not.

EMDR: A Powerful Tool for Processing Traumatic Memories

EMDR, a psychotherapy technique, addresses traumatic memories by helping the brain properly process and reconcile them. It uses bilateral movements, such as guided eye movements, to stimulate the brain in a way that mirrors how we process memories during REM sleep. This approach allows individuals to reprocess painful experiences and develop new perspectives around those moments.

The therapy is structured in eight phases, with a specific focus on identifying a target memory and reframing it. Through my own EMDR sessions, I’ve worked on deeply ingrained feelings of betrayal and even physical sensitivities tied to specific memories, like my aversion to the taste of cinnamon. The physical sensations that surfaced—tightness in my chest and nausea—were undeniable proof of the body’s connection to trauma.

The transformation is not immediate, but it is profound. Each session leaves me feeling lighter, with a clearer mind and newfound awareness of the trauma I’ve unknowingly held onto for years.

Complementing Healing with Other Modalities

While EMDR has been instrumental in my healing, I’ve also embraced other supportive practices. Together, they’ve provided me with a holistic approach to recovery.

Reiki for Energy and Anxiety Relief

Reiki, a Japanese form of energy healing, promotes relaxation and empowers self-care. One grounding technique I’ve learned is placing my hands at the base of my spine during moments of anxiety. This simple gesture, paired with self-assuring thoughts, has helped me find calm amidst chaos.

The Role of Daily Practices in Healing

Healing from trauma is not a one-time event—it’s a commitment to self-care and maintenance. Start by focusing on giving to yourself instead of taking away from yourself. We often emphasize what to avoid but focus on what to include, and the rest will fall into place more easily. Below are ways I’ve nurtured myself along this path:

Self-care: It sounds so simple, yet we often neglect ourselves. Finding how to love who you are after trauma is key to how you see yourself in the world. Many feel guilt and shame after trauma. Try to find ways to give back to yourself that others cannot give you. It’s often the simple things: listening to beautiful music, a massage, a warm cup of tea, walking in nature, or maybe a bath.
Nutrition: Proper nutrition, including whole, unprocessed foods, is essential for mind and body health. If the body is not fueled with nutrient-dense foods, it affects every aspect of one’s being, including thoughts and emotions. Remember that balance is essential. Avoid using food, caffeine, and substances to numb you. There is a reason why substance abuse is highly connected to trauma. It takes fighting against that urge to numb instead of process, but walking through it is the only way to heal.
Sleep: Consistent, restorative sleep is essential for recovery. If your body is not receiving the sleep and rest it needs each night, healing in any form is difficult. Similar to a physical injury, too much strain or not enough rest of the injury will result in delayed healing. The same goes for sleep. Our mental and physical healing requires proper sleep. Attempt to create a similar sleep schedule each night and prioritize sleeping early and rising early instead of sleeping late and waking late. Try to follow the natural rhythms of daylight to optimize your circadian rhythm.
Journaling: Journaling is an avenue for independent work needed for healing. It is part of the healing process where you sort your emotions yourself. It’s a form of empowerment. A side benefit of making a habit of journaling is that it helps to save time in your therapist’s office. Bringing your formulated thoughts to a therapy session can make time for discussing your thoughts on a deeper level. Articulating your own opinions is empowering.
Physical Activity: It may feel counterintuitive on tough days, but moving your body reduces stress and anxiety. Any form of moving your body releases endorphins to combat stress, helps emotions move through the body, and strengthens our connections to our bodies. Physical activity includes all forms of exercise but can also include gardening, sweeping, walking, dancing, and housework. All forms of moving your body are beneficial to healing.
Support Networks: We aren’t meant to be alone. While time alone is necessary and healthy, living our lives disconnected from others can be detrimental to our health and healing. Connecting with people who love and support you can be the best form of medicine. A genuine, loving community can provide love and compassion, two of the most powerful gifts needed for healing. When someone has a physical injury, they require others to lean in to support them through healing. In the same way, when someone is healing from emotional trauma, the love and support of others are essential.
Professional Help: Seek out a trauma therapist who can help guide you. Keep doing all of the above healing modalities, but in addition, get the help of a trained trauma therapist to help you work through the complexities of trauma. Trauma therapists focus on assisting people to work past traumatic moments and memories, including those diagnosed with PTSD.

Hope for Trauma Survivors

If there is one message I want to leave you with, it’s this: You are capable of healing. Traumatic memories may feel like an unshakable burden, but with time, effort, and the right tools, you can find peace. Explore methods that resonate with you. Whether it’s EMDR, Reiki, or simply reclaiming moments of joy through self-care, every step forward is progress.

Recovery is a deeply personal, nonlinear process, but it’s one you don’t have to face alone. Seek out professional guides—trauma therapists, healers, and supportive communities—that can accompany you on your path to healing.

Remember, as Ken Page so beautifully wrote, “Our deepest wounds surround our greatest gifts.” Your pain, though heavy, holds the potential for transformation and growth. Take that first step and trust in the possibility of a brighter, lighter future.

You are worth the effort. You are worth the healing.

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